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Stuff's changed. Things have changed. I've changed. And now I come to you with open arms, and a story to tell.
It started with a boy, as these stories often do. He was a boy who thought he knew, he thought he knew what it was about, what life was about. He thought he knew himself, who he was, what's to come. But he hadn't even begun. Through events, he realized this. When he lost it all, the saw that he didn't know. Not the truth...not anything. Facts and spelling and grammar and math doesn't equal knowledge. It equals ability. But to know it...to know the truth, is to have such power.
The boy; he met a girl. They kissed and they spoke words that only made sense to them, and at the end of it all, they hated each other more deeply then anything. Another girl came. And another followed her. They followed, this procession of true emotion, just glimpses of love, flashes of lust. They thought they knew. They thought they had seen the truth, and knew the game. But they didn't. They were clueless. It's part of being human.
Another came. The last of the ones. This one had a name that would never be lost. They called her Mary, and he called her "love" though it's impossible to know if he ever meant that. They were in eachother's lives for ten months. But the truth wasn't there. And a secret split them. The boy continued on, and the girl followed her own path. The sun set on that romance, but the sun was just barely over the cliffs for the boy. Miles to go.
The boy, he met another girl. Perhaps there would never be a "Last". This one called herself Daliah, and in her was the innocence of the child...and the ignorance. The boy knew that the truth would never lie with her.
Then the boy met...a boy. He called himself Antonio. They met and they did things, but they were together only for an instance. The boy was tortured over him. Wanting him but not knowing how to surpass constant obstacles. He had to go on, but he could not. The sun was rising without him, the truth escaping before he could catch it, getting farther away. Something had to change.
It was then that Antonio asked the boy to tell his girlfriend through text message that they were separating. The boy did as he was asked, and Antonio smiled, proclaiming that freedom was the only way to live. He flashed a smile. And in that moment, the boy knew. The boy came to an understanding. The sun set. The sky changed from blue to pink to orange and red, and suddenly, the pieces of his life reassembled. Things changed.
The truth was not with Antonio. The truth wasn't with anyone. There is no truth. There's only what you believe. Because it's not about the beginning, and it's not about the goal at the end. The truth doesn't matter. It's about the journey.
I'm that boy. I've made friends. I've lost them, and regained them. Looking in my reflection, I've changed from a curly haired boy to one who spends twenty minutes each day straightening his hair and grooming up his body to face a day ahead. I'm a boy who runs on a treadmill, who lifts weights and does push ups, and wonders if he'll ever be anything compared to the one he lost.
This boy no longer speaks to Mary. She has her own journey. And I have mine. That's one truth.
Another is that Janet is the strongest girl I have ever known. You don't decide to be strong. You're chosen. Bad things happen to people because they must. Apocalypses come because worlds are trying to change. Either it goes to chaos...or it goes fourth to something new. The beat goes on no matter what happens.
I don't talk about Janet much. Because I always fear that I'll never say the right words.
I tore her down once. I did something awful. And I'll never make up for it. But here's to trying.
Jeff is dead. And yet I'm always thinking of him sometimes, and never other times. His path ended. His truth was never realized. But then, there is no truth. It's about the journey. Why would the road have a dead end?
My romantic life is nowhere. I have no hope for it. And that is an astoundingly brilliant thing. I don't need someone to make me happy, although it helps. Because at the end...
--I'm 15
--I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer
--My best friends are Callie Eversol and Janet of The-Last-Name-That-No-One-Can-Pronounce-E
--My myspace is myspace.com/tommyz_profile, and no one can find the add button
--My heart is open, and I regret nothing
My name is Tommy.
It's been...a little bit.
Here's what's been going on with me:
1.] Got a girlfriend. She's cute. I like her. She likes me, somehow.
2.] I'm caught up in school and stuff, getting A's again. And it feels sooooo right.
3.] Family's good. Friends are good for the most part.
4.] Walking home's getting easier. I am now able to do it and NOT get lost. :]
Recently I came across a novel called Little Brother. It is, for lack of a better word...amazing. It's mission statement is this:
"Governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness."
Take what you will from that.It is being sold at bookstores, and can be found online released by the author. I forget what it's called. You know when Stephenie Meyer would post a chapter of one of her books online? Well it's like that.
I found it on Scott Westerfeld's Blog (author of the Uglies Trilogy, Peeps, The Last Days, etc.)
Also on Scott's Blog, I found Manga Eyes.
Or, to put it simply:
Heh. I want some.
Bored now.
Myspace me, people!
(www.myspace.com/tommyz_profile)
Except not really.
Hey people, sorry that it's been so long between blog posts. I just really haven't had the time. And my self esteem's been, well, missing. But lately it's had a killer comeback. Which is good, for the most part.
Another thing that's had a killer comeback is school. And it's very odd. So many doors have opened now, and I'm feeling strangely overwhelmed. But last year was like party year. I neglected my grades for a lot of personal issues, mainly those involving Jeff, Janet, Mary, and the like.
But I'm pretty strong in my resolution to do better now. My social life's gonna suffer from this new focus, but I'm okay with that. They don't need me that much, truthfully. They'd probably get on a lot better without me, actually. But I guess we'll never know if that's true.
In other news, I've been talking to James a LOT lately. And it's been really fun, he's surprisingly easy to talk to. And a sort of contempt has been growing for Nick lately. And I know this is going to get me in trouble the moment he reads my blog, but...
GOD YOU'VE BEEN ANNOYING TEH SHIZZWIDGETS OUT OF ME LATELY, JESUS, STOP BEING...NO, JUST STOP.
*exhales*
Over that now.
I think that this girl at school has a thing for me. Her name's Daliah and she's...for lack of a better description, the SHIT. I dunno. I like her. And everyone thinks we'd make a good couple, and she has a tendency to hug me...like, a lot. But I dunno. I'm weary. And still just a teensy bit bitter. But it's a teensy. Not a biggy bitter, but a teensy, minute bitter. If you get what I'm saying.
Also, it feels like my life is heading for a Calm Time, or is already in that Calm Time. See, in life there have always been long stages where things have, well, sucked. I call them The Dark Ages. And I've been in them for a little bit, but it looks like clouds are receding. The Hell Mouth has caved in, at least for a little bit.
But there's always another.
But I'm gonna enjoy the calm.
At least until the next apocalypse hits.
Anyways. I'm on pretty good terms with everybody as of now. Except Tanner. I hate him.
But Daliah, Mikayla, Destiny, Adam, Austin, Alexander, Mackenzie, Callie, and Shelly all seem to be getting along with me for the most part. The repeated use of the word faggot has shrunken as of late. Lots of people either don't give me the time of day, or know me, and know that I don't usually take that.
In other news, Gonzollo is back from the expulsion I got him exiled to. But he hasn't been hanging out with us. In fact he's as far away from our group as physically possible, yet, strangely, always on the sidelines.
Coming out to the parentals is a dark cloud on the horizon, and I can't help but think that maybe that'd end up being the next trigger for the Dark Ages. All evidence points to mom being understanding. But it makes me wish that this shit...differences in general didn't exist at all.
Sometimes I think it'd be amazing to be one of those boys. One of those boys with the blond hair and the blue eyes, and the muscles, and the masculinity. One of a thousand. Nothing different. Nothing unique. Sports. Testosterone fueled fist pumping. Just another drone in an army of clones.
And then suddenly it sounds like the worst kind of nightmare.
*yawn* I'm of two minds on almost everything.
I saw Mirrors.
It was pretty good. Chick tore her own jaw off, which I admit, the caveman in me just loved.
I promise that there won't be THIS MUCH SPACE between updates next time. Ima keep you informed. Those of you that are still out there anyways.
QuoteQuoteQuote
"James: I'm bored and horny, what am I supposed to do?"
--...=D
"Me: I'm like...the good christian boy compared to you bad seeds.
James: >:]
Me: You make out with ONE person in ONE bathroom and all the sudden it's like--
James: ...LOL"
--Yeah. Like I said. Easy to talk to.
"Me: And those parents of mine are watching Nascar.
James: ................LOL
Me: *siiiigh*
Me: YES, WE ARE STILL THAT WHITE.
James: Bahahaahahaha."
--Mm.
"James: I was like "Holy arcade games, Batman, is Tommy Pacman?!"
--Haha.
"Melaka Fray: Finally. Things get clearer. This is how I begin."
--The origin of "This is how I end."
"Me: Lying--
Destiny: Is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off."
--ILY, Destiny. <3333
Watch out for updates sooon.
Talked for a while with James the other day.
Good conversation I guess.
That's all, really.
Hey, it's me (again). And I am pretty damn happy right now. I'm going home soon, as in a couple hours, and we're going to have steak before I leave, which is nice because air plane food really does not do it for me. I mean, peanuts in a bag are all well and good but...come on, honestly.
What's been going on?
Basically, Florida has been going on. For the last four years I've come here for a portion of every single summer. About six months, usually, but I only stayed for four this time. I like coming here because everything shifts. My priorities, my financial situations, my tan, my attitude, and most of all my maturity. I come here, thinking that I've reached a new level, and in a lot of ways, I have. I try to help out more. I do all my own laundry, I cook more then I ever have before. I bake like I'm getting paid for it, and I want to help. That's the main thing, I want to help, to affect.
I don't want to end up like StepDad Jeff. I don't want to end up fat, and wasting my life away in front of a TV. I want to provide. Help this sorry fuckin' world we all live in. You know what I mean? But that's just my latest ramble about me, myself and I.
Anywho, Florida is over, I'll be back in Fresno, perhaps just a little bit older, within an hour.
Also:
HOLY SPAGBOL! I finally bought Extras.
It's an awesome book so far, there are boys with manga eyes, and girls with madusa hair, and hoverboarding, and popularity obsessions and it all reminds me of YouTube on a gigantic scale. I love it so far, and I'm only half way through.
Also, I got a graphic novel called Wanted...and it's basically awesome. It just...oozes awesome with every page turned. Basically, the heroes lost in 1986, and villians have been ruling the planet ever since. And it only gets awesomer from there. And no, this isn't a "save the world from tyranny" book. This is a "Holy shit, I'm a bad-ass villain!" book. It's awesome.
I went scuba diving, and we have pictures!
(for some reason this turned out better then all the others)
PUFFER! ^_^
Hail to the yellow fish.
Eeep.
Those goggles make me look like an alien. O.O
Anyways, it was a really great day yesterday. I'd love to tell you just how awesome it is, but I don't have the time. Needless to say, at lunch we ended up talking to my grandpa's freind Rich who recently designed a prosthetic nipple site, because apparently that's a pretty large market for breast cancer patients, as well as strippers?
It's a crazy fuckin' world.
See you later.
Sorry for the lack of updates. But I suppose it doesn't matter because no one reads anymore since I did a fake goodbye. I don't believe any of my friends have checked back here since I fake-abandoned it. Which works well because I was getting a little nervous having everyone read it...
Anyways. Basically my computer is dead. We're gonna order a new charger but it may not work. So I guess it's safe to assume that my old-ass lap top has reached the End of Days. Part of me is doing those lil' victory dances because, hey, I might get a new computer that isn't a hand me down. And the rest of me is fucking depressed because I havve a lot of myself on that computer...
It's like...like...meeting someone.
You see em, you say hi. They pour a little of themselves into you...you pour everything into them. You think everything's goin' great when KA-CHAM! You're stabbed in the back. Or they die. Or you piss them off just one too many times. And then all you've got are your memories and your loneliness till' the next someone comes along to start the fuckin' process all over again just so--
Okay, so I'm a little bitter.
But enough of that.
Bottom line, I won't be able to update any stories or do anything since my computer is out for the count. If we get the charger soon and it works then HUZZAH! But if not, then well, that's that. I can ask for one for Christmas I suppose. But it's a little much to ask for. And I keep feeling really guilty about...everything.
I don't want to be selfish.
I keep trying to change...do more, learn more. Be the guy that the other person can lean on. But still...it doesn't seem possible.
Apparently me having a moustace made James' life. Insert your explanation for this here?
Also, Nick's dating some chick...named...Stephanie? I dunno, pretty cute, I s'pose.
I went to the cheese cake factory today. TEHE!
It was yummy...
Well, I really want to write right now, I feel the inspiration, but of course all of my documents...as well as my iTunes are on the other compy. Thankfully we're having their IT guy suck all of the computer's stuff onto a hard drive, and transfer it to disks. Which i guess I can put on my new compy if I get a new compy. :|
I'm goin' back to Fresno on the 31st, so I'll get to go to da mall and raise hell with Raymond and Tanner and the rest of those losers again. Which is always fun. Uh. Apparently I'm a skankskankskank and you should hate me? Oh, and I'm also crazy jealous of internet sex. ^_^ If you're coughing right now it's because you're alergic to total and complete bull shit.
Yaddayadda.
So, I gotta confess that Thunder by Boys Like Girls is playing right now and it's makin' me happy. :] Happier then bugs bunny after a carrot convention. I'm trying to tame my colorful analogies. Usually I'd say something related to Jeremy and lubricants but I'm trying to CUT BACK! Well, no, it'd be James instead of Jeremy in that one...gosh, where could I fit Jeremy? Happier then a Jeremy with his arm around a James' waist? Yeah, okay, lets go with THAT one!
It's great to blog again. I loves it.
I love John Green...dunno where that came from, but it's the TRUTH.
Also, before I left, I ended up talking to my Uncle's girlfriend...who by the way, would probably make a great therapist. She's a great listener.
*yawn*
Mary's phone is always dead now. Which sucks.
My uncle Jim was diagnosed with a malignant (sp?) cancer. Which sucks greatly. Because he's never been one of the strong ones, and cancer's a pretty hard thing to fight, even when it's not something specific. Just when the doctors thought that it wasn't in his lungs it flooded in so they had to put him on one fo those breather things.
Fuck.
Bad things keep happening to people I know. It sucks because I can't DO anything. Not from here. Not from anywhere. This isn't a CyberPunk scifi story where the hacker saves the planet. And even if it was I'd still be pretty powerless because I'm no hacker.
Today is a winding road, tell me where to start because I don't know...
So. Yes. I can't leave the blog behind. Sue me. Bleh. But I am not going to just abbandon the New Blog. It's going to stay up, and I'm going to post on that one as well as this one. Although I believe I'm going to censor this blog a lot more. Cause my big all emotional break downs have gotten me in trouble on the past, and blowing off steam here doesn't seem to be the most productive thing, SO I'm going to post all of THAT on the other blog.
So, I'm going to try to focus on issues that have nothing to do with me on this blog...while putting the more personal issues on the other blog. And maybe, someday, I'll be able to make my own blog without using the services of places like livejournal or blogspot. I don't know, we shall see.
Anywho, if anyone who reads this blog would like me to blog about other issues then email me. Or comment. Which ever. I mean...if you asked me to blog about interdimensional creatures, or some subject in math that I have no idea about, then off to wikipedia I'll go.
:]
In other news, Liam Kyle Sullivan, who made the Shoes video as well as Let Me Borrow That Top made a new video called No Booty Calls. (Bellow)
Warning, it contains quite a bit of...nasty content. :] So if there's children in the room, clear em' out.
Anywho, my lap top isn't working so I've had to use my aunt's which is a lot harder to use every single day. So basically I'm not going to be able to post as frequently. But I digress.
And. Yeah. That's it I think. Heh, so much for goodbye?
Oh, and I'm also addicted to This Song. I kind of can't stop listening to it.
I'm leaving this blog.
I figured I wouldn't give you a length goodbye.
Maybe I should go out in typical me fashion, with lots of videos, Buffy Quotes, sensless babbling, and the like. But...*sigh* I can't stay.
Thank you. To anyone who still reads this. Who has been reading this for a while. To people like SummerSound, I will be continuing your segment, only on a different blog, if you wish. To people who want to new URL, request it in an email and I'll tell you. My adress is tommy_tribble@yahoo.com.
If there is no one who reads this blog anymore, then I feel colossally stupid. But also, to people who stumble across this blog and wish to hear more from me. Again, email me.
If people ever do stumble across it. Which they might not.
This is my final blog post on this blog.
And I appologize to those who either don't have the time to email me, or don't want to adjust to a different place. If there was a way to import all my posts from here to the new blog, then I would. But it's not possible on LiveJournal. At least not to my knowledge.
So this is it.
*cough*
I love you guys.
And I'll miss you readers who I don't know about, if you exist.
Again, email me for the new URL if you want it.
...This is how I end. 
(1999).jpg)
I've been gone for a while, because I got grounded. I'd love to tell you why, but I get the feeling that I complain entirely too much on this blog, and I'm trying to put a stop to it. This is me. Putting a stop to it. The shit hit the fan in the major way, a sad day for aspiring artists, basically. But it's not important.
Now I have my phone and lap top back.
Except my lap top is, well, dead. And the charger is broken.
This means that the Livid update that I was working on isn't gonna be...well...here. Until I can get the lap top up and running. It also means that I'm stuck with the same iPod songs, and Podcasts until I can get it charged. Fucker.
But I'll deal with it. Hopefully I can get a new charger later.
I've also discovered a host of awesome webcomics, such as...
Boy Meets BoyA very random comic about two boyfriends, their Land Lady who happens to be the daughter of the devil, their crazy friends, and all the adventures that happen amongst them. It's been finished since January, 2004.Yeah. Regardless, there's hundreds of daily strips and it's pretty kewl. If you're offended by gay sex then...eh, STAY. AWAY.
Kagerou - Electric MangaAn online comic about a magical world and a boy with multiple personalities with different magical powers and a sword and demon gods...and...and...well, amazing art, vibrant colors, 42 chapters to date...it's just awesome. If you like Anime-Y Manga-ish things, blood, gore, boyish + girlish nudity, and funny dialogue, then you're bound to enjoy this.
Friendly HOSTILITYA comic by the same person who did Boy Meets Boy, I've just started reading it, and it has less whimsy-ness then Boy Meets Boy, but it's still pretty awesome.
And here are some comics I already knew about,but I figure I'd let you know about now:
FlipsideThe banner practically says it all. Basically it involves the split personalities of a jester girl who happens to be a sex addict, as well as her double sword wielding bad-ass lover, and their many demon-filled advetures in an imaginiative world. Lots of lesbian action, and good battles.
Demonology 101My favoirtest webcomic ever, it's a character based five-chapter online comic about demons and the people who fight them. It's very character driven, and I love it to death. It has lots of Buffy-ish things within. It be awesome.
StripteaseThis one is also very character driven, and also has Buffy references. And it has a style that starts out tiny and cartoony, but then becomes...well...kick ass, to the max, yo.
And I thought I'd end this post with my stance on relationships at this point. Basically, I've been really wanting a boyfriend lately. I've been with girls, and each of those relationships as great...except for that one. Way back in 2006. We shan't talk about it though. *shiver* Anyway, they were all great, but I want to see if I can love a dude. But lately I've come to realize that I'm not all growed up yet. I can't pour anymore of myself into someone else until I figure myself out for real...who I am, what I'm supposed to be, and so on. It occured to me as I was watching Chosen, the final buffy episode...
[Quotes]
"Buffy: Because... okay, I'm cookie dough, okay?
Angel: Yet another curveball...
Buffy: I'm not done baking yet. I'm not finished becoming... whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I've been looking for someone to make me feel whole, and maybe I just need to be whole. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next... maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then if I want someone to eat m -- or, to enjoy warm delicious cookie-me, then that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done.
Angel: Any thoughts on who might enjoy... do I have to go with the cookie analogy?"
--Chosen (7:22)
That morning, my Mother entered my room with watery eyes. And I knew, somehow I knew that something wasn't right. But there was no suspense. There was no dramatic music, only a millisecond of silence, and then the news "Grandpa died about an hour ago--" and all I could say was "Oh...I'm sorry," and it did not truly hit then.
Today, my mother asked me to borrow my computer, to look up his obituary online. We had to miss his funeral, as he lived in East Peoria Illinois with Great Grandma. We don't have the necessary time or money to fly out, so instead we send flowers.
But then, as I paced around the room, looking for something to do, I saw my Mom start crying. It's a scary thing, when you realize that someone you've always looked to as an adult is really a human being. And it felt then as if reality was giving away to something I didn't understand, as it often does for me.
I sat on the couch, Comedy Central playing in the background, as the silent tears became less then silent, sniffles, barely contained sobs. I reached over, grabbing the remote and turning off the TV. It flicked off, the rapid colors fading to black. And I knew then...that he was truly gone.
My eyes burned then. And I questioned why it was so easy to cry for a friend that I'd loved, yet so difficult to cry over someone who I'd known my entire life. I didn't understand it. I understood that Jeff was gone immediately, and it hit me like a ton of bricks...but when it's someone so close to home...someone so real...you don't really get it until just a little bit later.
Maybe part of my mind thought it was a joke, a mistake, that he'd merely been playing a joke and would jump out of his coffin during the funeral and surprise a bunch of family members. Maybe that was what I was feeling...that maybe he was still alive and I just didn't know.
But now.
He is gone.
Someone who lived a full life of 82 years if gone, and I can't even remember the last words I said to him. But it matters little. I know that this wasn't the last thing I'd say to him. I know that he exists somewhere, that he's playing pranks in some heavenly land, that he's still with me. Just like I knew that there was someone to hear me when Jeff passed, I know that perhaps someone even closer can hear now.
James Carl Tribble.
A beloved father, an onry old man, a powerful spirit.
You will be missed.
...but you will never be gone.
1926-2008.
Christ.
Anyways, I woke up late, like, ten o'clock, and then ate a shitty breakfast of circle-y cereal things with blue berry. Seriously, whoever bought those damn things needs to pay cause they suck. They make me feel sick everytime I eat them, goddammit. But whatever. Anywho, I then ate a burrito an hour later which made me feel like my stomach was about to implode from within. Gah.
After all that I spent the next three hours on the computer wishing I had something to do, but also marveling at the hotness of Antonio from Myspace and his awesome-sauce profile song "I Wish" by The Secret Handshake. It's now last on my Playlist and the first song is Path by Apacolyptica, also a great song.
Anywho, after the hot-Antonio fun, I also got an approved friend request from this cool-sounding guy named Sebastian (also hot looking), now if only I could get the courage to say something to him. *sigh* Sometimes I feel like Shy-Guy, and I hate that, you know?
And after that I went to see The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian with Nando, and it was AWESOME. I loved it. The acting was on the top-notch, and the prince was hot, and peter was hot, and Ed's new voice was hot, and Susan got her Slayer on in a massive way, and was super sexy with that eyeliner, and the effects were amazing and the music score was to die for. *inhales* And it was really nice to see all four of our man heroes getting invovled with the killing, seeing as they'd all had a seperate life full of fighting, now Susan was able to quickly dispatch a bunch of soldiers with arrows from afar while, at the same time, killing those with a sword who got too close. Ed was also a great fighter, and it was interesting to see him use two swords during the final battle, a lot similar to the White Witch's fighting style. There seems to be a lot of symbolism in this movie (like the two sword thing) and also a lot more intrigue then the last movie. I loved it.
Also, Nick has somehow, miraculously gotten into Buffy somehow. And apparently he plans to buy all seven seasons. This makes me sort of mad because it took me a bunch of months to get all the seasons all separate like because of their $40+ price tags (except in Reno, where they were about twenty bucks) and my Mom's cheap-ness.
But it's cool that someone else likes it. He watched the movie (which was sort of rushed, and a lot of Joss Whedon's original intentions, to make a strong, believably heroine were cut out). I can't get through that movie, feels too cheesy at points. But apparently my blond brother form another mother likes it, so...
This opens further Inside Joke doors.
No quotes for today, simply cause' I can't think of any. :P
The title is random, cause I figure, "Hey, it's been a while since I had a random title, you know?" It's always about some boy-drama, or some girl-drama, or some baby-mama drama. But you know, sometimes I think it's not worth all that drama, you know? And sure, as a human being I love a little chaos. Pacifist or not, there's a beast part of every person that just loves to spill the blood, or watch it be spilled.
But that's not the issue of this blog post, although I might get back to that in a future blog post because it seems like an interesting subject. But now I'm back to talk to you about religion, but this time, I have a companion. He has asked that his name not be given. So instead he shall be called Mr. Anonymous. Except I thought that name was too boring, and quickly changed his pseudonym to "SummerSound" for no clear reason. Which I guess cancels out the idea of the random blog title, considering that I just tied it in there.
You can so tell I'm getting my Imrov on.
Anywho, we're here to talk about religion.
We've been talking over email for quite a few weeks about the subject, mainly because he happened to see my other blog post
So, basically, I'm going to be copy and pasting a few of the emails we've shared, and probably outline his points at the end. I guess. We'll see. Maybe. Heh.
Tommy:
Hi, I'm Tommy (as you could probably tell from the address). Thanks for commenting my blog, it's nice to know that there are people out there who really hear my opinions and things. And as you requested, I emailed you.
SummerSound:
Hey Tommy,
(This was basically our introduction)
Tommy:
Nah, man, I do weirder things then this on a daily basis, it's no big thing. I'd be happy to talk about my points with you. Which ones are you wondering about?
(Introductions over, we moved on to our first big topic, the unhealing of amputees and starvation that plagues the planet)
SummerSound:
If you look into the bible you can see a great explanation of this: Everything was going great, there was no pain, death, sickness starving, etc. Then man decided that things were not perfect. So he decided to mess them up by "sinning." (We know that sin exists because we have a moral law inside us. When someone murders someone else we know it is wrong. We call it sin. Just like when you kill someone and go to jail, maybe even get death penalty when you sin something has to go wrong). As a result of that bad stuff starts to happen to supposedly "good" people. Supposedly "innocent" children die because, heck, we screwed up and started the vicious cycle. God doesn't heal people because He can't. He doesn't heal people because we don't want him to.
Tommy:
Well, they may come off as dumb to you because I reworded them a bit to make their meanings more clear (mostly the parts in the parenthesis) and also because a lot of the time the questions were boring, and I was way groggy when I was writing.
SummerSound:
(Yes, I know I said I was going to do a bunch of them and sum it up in the end but...well, there are a LOT of emails, and it would take hours for me to get through them all. I think I'm going to make this a series, my debates with SummerSound. Look out for these in the future, where more emails will be posted, and possibly more debate topics besides religion.)
Quotes
"Life is an endless battle. A battle between you and death. You fight to live, to breathe, and you die a little more every day. Every second brings you just a little bit closer to the end...and part of you wonders what it's like. Part of you wants to feel it: that last breath, that final flutter of the eyes...deep, deep down, you want to have that peace, that final rest. It's one long, drawn out battle...and here's the secret sweety...you're going to lose."
--The main villian in my thirtieth novel attempt. If I did write the novel, it would be a seven book series, and this guy would show up in book four, and this would be one of his lines. Heh.
"You're not getting tired are you? I'm just starting to feel it."
--Faith, Buffy Ep: Graduation Day: Part 1 (3:21)
"Here's the part where you make a choice. What if you could have that power...now? In every generation, one slayer is born...because a bunch of old men who died a thousand years ago made up that rule. They were powerful men. This woman *points at Willow* is more powerful then all of them combined. So I say we change the rule. I say my power should be our power. Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of the Scythe to change our destiny. From now on every girl in the world who might be a slayer...will be a Slayer. Every girl that could have the power will have the power; can stand up, will stand up. Slayers...every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?"
--Buffy, Chosen (7:22)
"Things fall apart. They fall apart so hard. You can't ever...put them back the way they were. I'm sorry, it's just...You know, it takes time...you can't just have coffee and expect -- there's just so much work to work through. Trust has to be built up again, on both sides...You have to learn if...if we're even the same people we were, if we can fit in each other's lives. It's a long, important proccess, and...can we just skip it? Can - can you just be kissing me now?"
--Tara, Entropy (6:18)
"You WON'T be thinkin' I give a fuck. I give a damn about you thinkin' that I give a fuck! So when someone tells you 'chris crocker cares what people think' say 'no he don't, he don't give a fuck, but he gives a damn about you thinkin' he gives a fuck.' That's what I'm sayin', you crazy bitches."
--Chris Crocker - This Video.
"Awe, cause he's cuuuuttee!"
--Me, bout' Steven.
"Steven: *plays with the tiny cow*
Adam: Give it back.
Steven: Noooo!
Me: O_o I think he wants your horny cow."
--All the crazy shit happens in science class.
To tell you about Briana. She's Raymond's ex-girlfriend. And now Raymond is dating her cousin who has a psycho bitch mom...but that's a whole other story. Anyway, today I was in gym and we were playing soft ball, which, okay, I sort of hate. But anywho, I was just watching this girl miss the ball and Briana walks up to me and starts talking to me. And she was surprisingly easy to talk to.
Basically, we talked about how Raymond's rushing into love, how I got dumped (I'm just telling everybody today, aren't I?) and also about my bi-ness, and she said there's only one bi guy at this school, but no one knows if he really is and his name is Alex something and I'm like "Yeeaaah--don't know who the hell that is."
And we just laughed and talked about random crap and then before I knew it the game was over and I had to go to third period. And also, Chris really needs to stop touching me, like, seriously. He's always putting his arm around me or touching my lower back. And hey, I more then anyone am a fan of the bromance, but seriously, dude. You're going to call me gay for months and months and then you're going to touch me like you OWN this body? What. The. Fuck?
He doesn't make fun of me anymore, cause we were in art class and I basically exploded and asked him to stop, and he was like, okay. And he put his finger in the blue paint and made me put my finger in the blue pain and we touched fingers, and it was like "By the blue mark, we'll never make fun of each other again," and ever since then we've been absurdly nice to each other. *sigh*
Also, the year is winding down, and there's only a few weeks left. I can't wait till summer. :]
That's all for today, folks! (Next, NEXT post comes the further religion argument)
So, Mary dumped me. Yeah, not gonna play up the dramatics here. No big long pause, no crazy ramblings, no suicidal-ness going on. Just the end of something special. I told Nick a bunch of things that were bothering me about the relationship, and he told Mary everything, and she got mad, and I got mad, and everyone was screaming at me, and it was pretty sucky. And when I asked her if there was a verdict, if she was leaving me, she was like "Verdict? Yes. Yes I am." And that's it. There wasn't me getting all crazy mad. I didn't argue intensely with Janet after she IMed me "MASSIVE OWNAGE!" or when Nick took the time to insult me. Well, no, I did let Nick have it with my iciest stuff, and then I left. Nick appologized, we made up, yadda, yadda.
Point is, guys, I'm okay.
So, don't freak out.
NOW that that's been established, I've been testing all week, and been stuck in a room with Patrick, Colbie, a bunch of UBERpopulars, and some dumbasses who I don't even know. But after each testing period we got to watch a little of Remember the Titans (great movie by the way). And also I got to chat with all my fellow testers, and eat a lot of too-minty gum, so that was okay. And also the second day of testing ended at 12 something, and I got to go home REALLY early. It was amazing.
We have two more days of testing next week, which'll be fine.
Austin asked me if I was bi today, and I just shrugged and nodded a little, and walked off, cause, hey, it barely matters to me so much anymore. But apparently some fucktards seem to think that gay and bi mean exactly the same thing. :]
Why the hell would gay and bi both be options on the Myspace orientation thing if they meant the same damn thing? in what universe does that make sense? I hope to GOD that none of you are that fucktarded.
Oh, and also I've been playing around with T-shirt desigining a lot during my free time, here are some of the ones I played around with:
Front and Back (What is that, a Panic! reference? Seriously, I'm such a conformist these days...)
(Heh, From Beneath You, It Devours is from Buffy, because there's got to be SOMETHING from Buffy in everything I make, of course. Lol. I'm a huge fan boy too.) 
(This one's about...well, sex.) 
("Coloring Outside The Lines of What Makes Life Interesting..." is stolen from Mary, as you can see if you search though my blog posts a little, and pay attention to the quotes section. This is the second version of the first T-shirt I ever made online. It has a special place in my heart.)
Also, I got around to reading an amazing book called "The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Goth Girl" (link goes to amazon), and it's simply amazing. I love the cover too. 
There's just something about black lips...:] Anywho, the author has a really good voice, and he gets his point across easily and it's a really awesome adventure. Real comic book references, but it's not only for serious graphic novel reader peeps (of which, I am not).
Quotes:
"I'm not gonna lie. I hate you so much right now, it hurts to breathe."
Watch out for the next post, where yet ANOTHER person offers his unique perspective on religion to the mix. It will be based off of the conversatoins that Me and the Other Person (who prefers not to be named). I'd add it to this post, but it seems cramped already.
See you, people. :]
And as usual, I forgot to put something ever-so-crucial in the last post. I suppose it wouldn't have fit in though with the rest of it. It's like throwing in a reference to country music in a Star Wars flick. It just seems the tiniest bit out of place. Unless you're intending to break the fourth wall...but that's besides the point.
Anyway, basically, there was a period in time way back when when people got SO tired of the Catholic Church dominating their lives that they sought to Reform it, and in the process, miraculously reformed themselves. They figured out that they didn't NEED a Church to tell them what to do. They found out that they could think outside the goddamn box. And so began the cycle of human beings thinking humanely *gasp*.
Well, remember how Janet stopped talking to me?
Well. Randomly, she starts talking to me one night because of something going on with a certain blonde person I know (notice the E which is used to reference a WOMAN with non-brunette/non-red natural hair), and we laughed about it, and then I ended up letting her know just how weird the whole group thing has been lately. I mean...
It's just complicated, and emotional.
And you know how much trouble I get in when I blog when I'm emotional.
Anyway, basically, Moony called us all together in a buddy chat the next day and gave a very, very good, honest, and long speech about us...how broken we've been...how bad things have gotten for everyone. And just barely...our whole group reformed.
We're not how we were before, despite what the others might tell you. We'll never be THOSE people again. No matter how much we scream, or close our eyes, or deny it, we're very different people now. Stronger, perhaps, wearier, perhaps.
For the past month we've all had to let go of things we once depended on and struggled to find more strength in ourselves and in other, different sources. For me, I tried to get less, and less involved with the internet towards the end of the Dark Ages (me not talking to Janet or Sam), and I basically rellied on random phone calls from Nick and Mary to keep me balanced. And also, conversations with Mary, which would always warm me up.
I'm only speaking for me, because I don't know where the others got the oomph to go on from all the hell that has occured recently. Losing Jeff, fracturing the group, Sam cheating on Nick, Moony's varioud troubles which are not my business, and all the other shit that's gone down.
But now we're all different from that...what doesn't kill you can make you stronger, am I right? So here's to the Reformation.
Long live The Group.
1.] Why doesn't God Heal Amuptees? (Severed limbs)
2.] Why are so many people (such as innocent children) starving in the world, and why won't God help THEM?
3.] Why does God demand the death of innocent people in the bible?
4.] Why does the Bible contain information that conflicts with established scientific facts?
5.] Why is God so big on slavery? What's up with that??
6.] Why do bad things happen to good people?
7.] Why didn't the miracle of Jesus leave behind any evidence?
8.] How do I explain the fact that Jesus has never appeared to you? (And more importantly, why should I have to?)
9.] Why does Jesus want me to eat his body and drink his blood?
10.] Why do Christians get divorced at the same rate as non-Christians?
In Nick's Post, he touches on a lot of key points and also brings out many logical explanations to all of the questions above. But, because I am both a Smart Motherfucker, and a Chaos Worshipper (meaning I like to stir shit up like it's nobody's business) I feel the urge to express certain points of his that I disagree on.
One of his main points is the fact that all people are sinners, and therefor they don't DESERVE to have their amputees cured. Now, this is mainly true for all GROWN people, but what about babies? And no, I'm not talking about three year olds, nine month olds, or even seven-second year olds. I'm talking about those not-born. Those who lost their lives due to miscarriages? Who were killed due to a complication or complications during the birth process...did they deserve to die, or have their lives been damaged because they were sinners? The answer is no. The only sin they could have POSSIBLY commited is the act of being born, which inflicts pain upon their mother. But they hadn't even gotten AROUND to that yet.
But you could also argue that losing the baby is a consequence to the mother, because she is a "sinner". And maybe you're right. But quite frankly I think that's bull shit. No one deserves to die because of the mistakes of those before them. Not to mention the only reason there IS sin is because of a certain Adam and his lover named Eve. Nick graciously points out that humans are natural sinners, and this is the truth. And since God is all knowing, he would have known that Eve would eventually be tempted to disobey him, as would her boy toy. Which could also mean that the baby was to become such a sinner in his future, that he simply had to be killed beforehand. And if that's the case THEN WHY BOTHER ALLOWING THE FATHER'S SPERM TO REACH THE MOTHER'S EGG? What on Earth is the point? Are we punishing the parents for their son/daughter's future mistakes (key word, future) or are all parties involved (mother, father, child) at fault? Whatever the case, some things simply don't add up.
Another complaint of mine, the punishing of a thousand children in Africa. AIDs, premature birth, HIV, starvation...all of that because they are sinful people? What did they do, steal a toy? Or was it their parents? Or the generations before for not believing in God? But how could they have known? God didn't appear before them and say "I am God. I created you bitches, now bow..." if he did then SOMEONE would've managed to write that shit down. But no, these people were born on a continent miles and miles away from where Jesus was doing his good deeds and God was smiting. So they made up their own stories. They created their own Gods because there was no one there to tell them that they were "wrong" until later.
Which brings me to another point.
Do you know how most religions began? Not email. Not phone services. And certainly not the intervention of a divine being. It's called "Word of Mouth" in other words, it began when one man looked up at the sky and said "Huh. Wonder how THAT got there?" and made up a story. People believed him cause', hell, no one else knew what happened. And as they believed, they spread it, like a mind virus. So began religion.
Which is why I don't count the Bible as real evidence. Since it is about as reliable as a 600 page book called The Chronicles of Narnia. I mean, if people found THAT billions of years from now, they might in fact believe that that is where the world came from. A whole new religion could begin called the Narnians.
So yeah. Bible? Doesn't count, son.
The same thing could have just as easily occured with Christianity, hence my willingness to argue the opposite points. For a brief moment, I'm the Avatar of this message, the conduit. This is me informing you of the other side of things.
Nick's arguments are rational and very well thought out.
My arguments were thought about in the shower while I was shampooing my newly black hair.
Now, there are more extreme points of view, like this:
Or...
(I feel strongly for THAT one)
And then there's...
The person behind all these videos is a YouTube user named Patcondell. He's very intelligent, british, and foul mouthed at times. Which, therefor, makes him cool. He's also oppionated.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not an Aethiest. Lately, it feels like I'm halfway there. Thanks to people like that guy Jefferie, the OTHER Jeffery, and things like hate crimes. But certain things keep me Christian, such as the threat of eternal torment in hell, and paradise in heaven. But the thing about heaven is that it's a conundrum. If aethists such as My Girlfriend, are going to hell, how could I POSSIBLY be happy in some sort of paradise while people I love are slowly burning for eternity. In fact, if the bible is to be believed, then Jefferie Zane Maddox is, at this moment, going through eternal torment.
But, as I've said.
I refuse to fucking believe that.
:]
And that's just me rambling.
Quotes may or may not be added later.
Wow, second blog of the night. Right now it's 1:42 in the morning, I don't want to go to sleep, I have the weirdest urge to makeout, but there's no one to makeout WITH. At this very moment I'm listening to B. Scott and his random giggling. At first, it was highly annoying and it made me jump three feet in the air. But him and Chris are pretty damn hilarious together. But whatever.
I have been watching seemingly random things every five seconds. I watched a walkthrough for the last "battle" of Portal, and listened to the MEGA Sarcasm that GLaDOS (Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System). Basically, while you're doing the final battle, the super computer is MOCKING you. It calls you stupid, remarks on your orphan-ness and uses reverse psychology and mega sarcasm to win.
You know what I did at 10 something today? I danced to Chinese Burn by Curve. I bounced and I swung my arms and all that shit. It's good exercise I guess, and for some reason I draw odd sorts of inspiration for Novel Attempts, Short Stories, yadda yadda. Music is my drug, my new religion, and one of my number one sources for inspiration. My number one inspiration is the other people in my life, my friends, my family, my Lovaaah (damn straight she gets her own category). My number three is probably my favorite books, and shows. Like, Buffy is a big inspiration for the current Novel Attempt.
Honestly, I don't know how I got around to rambling about inspiration. I mean one minute it was about Chris and B. Scott and the next minute it's about something totally different. *sigh* The main reason I posted this was because I wanted to post some more quotes, like, my friend Adam told me that he wanted to fuck (Yes, fuck, as in thrusting and sweating and Orgasmo...) my hair. Seriously. I'm not even kidding. I mean, yeah, it was a good pride booster, ut it also made my stalker senses tingle.
And another thing.
After school today me and Adam were hanging out at our table with these other people, and all the sudden this really tall guy gets the idea to guess what we "are" he points at Adam and Chris and says gay, and then he looks over at me, and does this sort of squint thing and says "I'm thinking you're bi," and on the inside I'm like "How the FUCK did you know??!?" On the outside I'm like "Huh," and then nothing more is said. But really, at one point it made me feel good, because, for once I was recognized for something I really was without contempt or fear or misunderstanding or something of that nature. It was very cool. And I think it had something to do with me calling a girl teacher hot (she was, all glisten-y) while at the same time being my usually perky, bouncy, hair-dyed self.
*shrug*
Oh, and I also wanted to tell you guys that just because I informed you that I like of the cock, it doesn't mean that I'm going to spend all hours of the day talking about bisexuality now. This is still the same blog. I'm not gonna go in a radical new direction. If you've been reading for a while, you'll know that it started out with really, really, really short paragraphs, and ever so slowly evolved. You can tell that I pour a little more of myself into it as the blog gets older, even though it goes through long periods of unuse in spots, until a particular era where posts are frequent and longer, eventually merging with Buffy themes and Kingdom Hearts and my writing and other things. Eventually friend-drama creeped in, and eventually the death of a friend made it onto a post.
My point? Everything about this blog has been a gradual process. It's been long, and teacherous, but it's been worth it. Nah, I'm not going to start telling you about the hot guys I see on a daily baisis, partly because 1.] I'm not going to be a whore and 2.] I don't see hot guys on a daily baisis.
If I do introduce that stuff, then it will be on my own time.
HOWEVER, if you guys have questions about what I like or something, don't be afraid to ask, and I love blogger comments because it shows me that you're really paying attention, and that someone out there is really, really listening. I like that feeling. It makes it...it makes it like I'm not just ranting to air.
So comment.
If you have questions, ask them.
If there are enough good questions, then there might just be a whole Q&A blog post. With your questions answered and all that. They can be about anything, and I promise to be honest unless it's an immature question or if I don't know the answer.
Quote of a Thousand Suns
"GLaDOS: Look, we're both stuck in this place. I'll use lazers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half where be where you live, and I'll live in the other half."
"GLaDOS: We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we...pretended to kill you."
"GLaDOS: This isn't brave. It's murder."
"GLaDOS: When I said deadly Neruotoxin, the deadly was in MASSIVE sarcasm quotes. Ha."
"GLaDOS: Who are you? What is that? Oh what's that? What's THAT? What is THAT? Ooooh that thing has numbers on it! Hey, look at that thing! That thing has numbers on it! Hey, look at that thing! No, that other thing! Nooo what's wrong with your legs? Where are we going? Are you coming back? Oh, hey, you're the lady from the test! What's that noise? Do you smell something burning? Where are we going? Oooooh, what's in here--AAAAAAAH!"
"GLaDOS: Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye' and you were like *deep voice* 'NOOO WAAAAY' *high pitched* and I was all 'We pretended we were going to murder you'? That was great."
"GLaDOS: *flat, emotionless* There was even going to be a party for you. A big party. That all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend The Companion Cube. Of course. He couldn't come because YOU murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so right here in your personel file. Unlikeable. Liked by no one. A bitter. Unlikeable loner. Who's passing shall not be mourned. Shall. Not. Be. Mourned. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny too."
"Chris Crocker: We got bitches tryin' to get ghetto with the Queen of All Ghetto. I'm about to lose my manners. And my mind."
"Chris crocker: Ima tell my Myspace Friends on y'all. Ima tell. My Myspace friends on y'all. I can have my groupies on your ass in fivefourthreetwoone, it's nothing."
"Me: Chicken.
Patrick: What?
Me: Chicken. I like chicken.
Patrick: I hate chicken.
Me: Why?? O__O
Patrick: It tastes like shit.
Me: How do you know what shit tastes like?
Patrick: I--
Me: No, really, how. Wouldn't you have to like, eat shit? I mean, I don't eat shit, do you eat shit?
Patrick: What? No--
Me: You eat shit?! Oh my god.
Patrick: Wha--?
Me: That's a really bad habit dude. You need to get out of that.
Patrick:...><"
--Science Class.
"Patrick: Bitch.
Me: Whore.
Patrick: Slut.
Me: Jerk-off.
Patrick: Dumbass.
Me: Postitute."
--It's weird cause we do this like, everyday and we end up laughing at the end every single time.
"Me: OH MY GOD!
Mary: What O__O
Me: Oh. My. God.
Mary: Whaaat?
Me: OH MY GOD! It's a pimp cup!
Mary:...Oh jesus. Me: You know you want to...
Mary: *sighs* What could you do with a pimp cup?
Me: You could drink out of it, yes you could!"
--
Hey, peoples. So, how do you continue on from a coming out post? How do you add on to the complete blog-ossity that was that post?? How did Buffy go on from an amazing episode called The Body? With a less then sattsifying episode (Forever). But how did they go on from episodes like Graduation Day Part 1 and Becoming Part 1? Why, with Graduation Day Part 2 and Becoming Part 2 of course. :] See, Part 1's were good...but then came Part 2 and you were just blown away. I'm hoping to continue on with my own Part 2, and hopefully this post won't be eclipsed by the one behind it.
So how has my week been? Well, basically I got into a fight with my ex-friend Gonzollo, in which we half-kicked each other's asses and he got expelled or suspended. I'm not quite sure yet. Anyway, this fight made my Aunt Nicole think that it was a good idea to enroll me in Judo classes that her co-worker takes. I looked at the class, and well...eh. I had this feeling of weariness and this simple urge to NOT do it. I dunno.
I've also been interning at my Auntie's movie theater. Know what that means? A.] Less bus time and B.] Lots of typing and joking around. It's been pretty fun, but because of all this stuff I've been forced to neglect the computer. *sigh* But on the upside.
Are you ready for this?
Huh?
Huh??
HUH?!
I dyed my hair black. Yes, Black.
And I'm a little curious to hear what you guys think about it, I mean, seriously.
Oh, and if I know you on Myspace, I would also like comments (*COUGH*nick*COUGH*)
Anywho, last weekend I went to the movies with my friends Tanner and Raymond...and holly shit, I had so much fun. We were coasting around the mall, throwing ourselves on beds at Seers, riding up and down escalators, contemplating riding the Merry-Go-Round but ultimately deciding against it. Then when we finally get to the movie, me and Raymond go to get popcorn and Tanner gives up the seats that he's SUPPOSED to be saving to a couple of hot girls. So I go back, save some new seats, except another new girl moves in just as Tanner leaves, along with an old Married couple. Which basicallly equals no available fuckin' seats. So then Tanner and Raymond drag us down to The Front Row. And we get stuck by a gangsta wannabe pedophile and his 11 year old girlfriend (SHORTY!). Then Gantsta keeps givin' me glare-like looks, and Tanner will NOT stop talking, which pisses gangsta some more. And then someone calls Raymond and he throws half hte popcorn in the air because the phone's vibration apparently "scares the crap out of him". One second I'm watching a black chick get killed and the next second it's raining lightly-buttered popcorn. *sigh* But I digress.
We went to see Prom Night.
Movie fuckin' sucked.
I'm serious.
Eightieth-Rate Horror movie. I'm serious. DON'T. Stay the fuck away from it. It's not scary. It's stupid.
Also, me and all my friends have been addicted to Shoes by "Kelly". Listen to it.
AWESOME song.
Quotes. :]
"Kelly: These shoes are three hundred dollars.
Kelly: These shoes are three hundred dollars.
Kelly: These shoes are three hundred fuckin dollars.
Kelly: Let's get em'!"
--Shoes
"Sales Lady: Uh...this style runs small, I don't think you're gonna fit, I mean, your feet are kinda big...
Kelly: Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh, by the way bitch.
FUCK YOU!"
--Shoes
So.
*Ahem*
I'm bisexual. This means, to quote dictionary.com:
Adjective-
1. Biology
A. Of both sexes.
B. Combining male and female organs in one individual; hermaphroditic.
2. Sexually responsive to both sexes; ambisexual.
Noun-
3. Biology. An animal or plant that has the reproductive organs of both sexes.
4. A person sexually responsive to both sexes; ambisexual. (See full list of definitions HERE)
Now, I'd like you all to pay special attention to definitions 2 and 4. Basically, they say almost exactly the same thing. Now, when you look up the word "ambisexual" on dictionary.com, you get this:
Adj:
- Having a sexual orientation to persons of either sex; bisexual.
- Suited to either sex; unisex
(See full list of definitions, HERE)
Now, see definition number one. Basically, when you put all this together it basically all boils down to the fact that I like girls...and boys. :] Yes, I like the cock. And, yes, I like the boobs. Vagina, whoo. Penis. Whoo. I go both ways. :] There's even a whole flag for it!
Now, the reason I'm choosing to tell you this is because there may be some of my readers out there who are against bisexuality, homosexuality and the like. If you hate the idea of a sexual orientation that isn't totally dependant on a male/female pairing, then I want you to do the following.
Drag your arrow over to the address bar, type in any URL you like, and get the fuck away from this blog, and I don't want you to ever come back. :] Cause, see, the way I see it, this is going to separate the good from the bad. It's like a filter. I don't want any self righteous bastards benefiting from my wisdom (lol), I'd rather open minded, well rounded, and intelligent individuals read me.
Have I made myself clear? Oh, good.
Now that we're off this topic, I'm going to try to prove that I'm not an attention whore, or confused. Basically, I'm going to make a list of people that I find attractive (hot, cute, arousing, etc.) Now, we're going to start our list with a guy, just to drive it into your skull that I like men.
Number ONE! David Boreanze! 
He's the actor behind Angel (from my favorite spinoff, Angel, of my favorite show: Buffy) I'd like to point out the sheer hottness, and the muscles, and the fun tone that he has to him. Meanwhile, while he's acting, at some points he can scare the shit out of you, or make you cry, or make you laugh your head off.
Numbah 2! Michaela Conlin!
Or, as she's called on Bones, Angela. Now, I've got a thing for what you might call exotic women, lol. I like the whole, dark skin thing. And I love how she can make me laugh when I watch her.
Number 3: Pete Wentz!
The Bassist and practically the REAL face of Fall Out Boy. He's the one that handles all the interviews, and controversy, while Patrick Stump (lead singer) does the other important things, such as singing, and writing the songs. But I mean, look at him. He's got this cute thing at some points (see this picture) and at other points he's insanely hot (*cough*RollingStone*cough*). And plus, he's said the word "Cum Button" which automatically makes him cool. Plus, he is a self-proclaimed Makeout King and has made out with guys before, and is apparently bisexual. And he wears pink hoodies. Cool dude. :]
Number Four!! Angelina Jolie!
What's there to say? She's been the Lara Croft, she's been Mrs. Smith, she's dated a woman, she's carried a vial of her boyfriend's blood as a necklace, she's shamelessly stolen Jennifer Anniston's boyfriend, got married to him, and had kids (insert ball and chain here), and still managed to withhold a steady acting career and look flawless all at the same time. There's no doubt that this woman's probably a natural born schemer, and that she's definitely not the innocent little girl type. And I love her for it. Even my English Teacher has remarked on how she "glows".
Number 5, Patrick Stump:
Fall Out Boy's lead singer, he's more cute then hot and stuff. But he sings pretty well, and writes pretty well and is undeniably witty, me thinks.
NUMBER SIX!!!! Eliza Dushku!
Eliza Dushku is basically...a bad ass. On Buffy she's Faith, who uses coolness phrases such as "Five by Five" and manages to say "Yo" without sounding retarded. She's a Slayer, so she's constantly kicking ass. And I will admit that girls fighting monsters is a bit of a twisted turn on for me, LOL. No, that doesn't mean I only like Buffy cause of THAT, I love the plots, and the stories, and the symbolism and the mythos. But I won't deny that I LOVE the fighting. Especially the fight between Buffy and Faith in Graduation Day Part 1...but I won't rant about that now. :]
Number Seven! Traycee Shaw!
Oh my god, it's someone NOT famous! Well, actually, he gets quite a few views, so I guess he's a little famous. Basically, he's a Canadian who speaks out for bisexuality, often giving advice in his videos to people confused about their sexuality, or just learning how to cope with the day to day troubles that it often brings us. And, you know, he's kinda adorable, and really confident. And actually my age, so he's easier to identify with. You know how it's harder for adults to accept advice from a child, even when five year olds are the ones who see things more clearly then anyone, with nothing like insecurities to hold them back from speaking their minds? Yet, when someone like Dr. Fuckin Phil says something, all the sudden it makes sense! Well, it's like that. When you get the advice from sone LIKE you, it's easier to identify. Did I mention he's adorable?
Number 8! Liane of Five Awesome Girls!
So, first of all, she's very cute. Second, she's neeerrddaaaye in a very amazing way. :] And she likes Joss Whedon, AKA creator of Buffy. :] Yeah, that makes her automatically awesome in my book.
Number 9? Matthew Lush.
Okay, so basically, I find this guy very, very cute...up until he opens his mouth and starts talking. I'm SORRY but I just can't handle that voice. For some reason it annoys me, even though I find it cute, deep, deep down. So, basically, if Matthew Lush tried to date me...I probably wouldn't be able to stand it. I'm a hypocrite, I know. Lol.
Number 10...*drumroll* AMY LEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What can I say about her? For one thing "LEADSINGEROFMYFAVORITEBANDWHICHALSOHAPP
Now, although this was in a top ten format, that doesn't mean that I prefer girls over guys. In fact, at this second it's kinda even. But I've been more on the boy side lately, but then yesterday I was totally on the girl side. So I'm all kinds of flippy. Lol. :]
Oh wait.
I totally forgot one.
Basically, this girl, is the key to my salvation. I've been worshipping her for about nine months now, and it still hasn't gotten old. She is, to put it simply, awesome.
Number 11?
Well.
Lets just say...
Her name is...
Mary Grace Fordiani. :] I'm in love with her.
I'm bi.
I like boys.
If a cute one kissed me, and I wasn't with that girl up there...I'd kiss back, with lottsa tongue. Flipside, girls. I've been dating them for, five years now? They can strut, they have boobs, and they can be amazing in a way that girls simply cannot. Then boys, who can be adorable or ruggid, in a way that, again, girls simply cannot. Both genders have things that appeal to me.
No, this doesn't mean I get boners in my locker room.
No, I am NOT a whore.
Yeah, I love that girl.
Yeah, I've got a crush on that guy in my science class.
Nah, I don't jack off to a picture of Pete's penis.
Yeah, I'm bi-fucking-sexual and proud. :] And I'm sorry that it took me so long to admit it to you guys.
I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while, and I would've posted sooner, but I'm pretty sure that you've all officially migrated over to Nick's blog, where he rants about interesting things, like Religion, The Popes Mom, his body, the toned-ness of his arms, etc. I mean, I know for a fact that Aubry stalking him...I swear.
Lol, kidding.
Anyway, his myspace is HERE (url: imlwjesusfreak, surprise, surprise).
So, this week, my Grandparents and their Two Year old baby breezed into town, and I got to stay three days away from school. The babies name is Jacob, and I'm going to throw out some pictures of him later, but right now I need to get down to the trip.
Basically, we drove a lot, first to greet my great step aunt, who was hilarious, and her Dog not quite as annoying as he used to be, I kinda felt sorry for him...I'd feel sorry for myself if my name was Magoo. *shiver* While we were driving, I took quite a few videos with my cell phone and sent em' to my friends (Raymond, Sydney, Austin...) but I'm not sure if they got them. I know Raymond did, cause he asked how my "Road Trip" was today. Lol.
Anyway, after we visited my Great Auntie, we got a bite to eat, then we cruised over to the beach and took a few pictures.
Me and My Mommy
Me and Auntie (Not the One we Visited)
Me and The Grandparents
And then after that we came home, and went to The Lake
And then we looked at property, a lot of property. Cause The Grandparents are thinking of getting a second home, one in California, and their old one remaining in Florida for the Summers. It seems like a pretty cool idea...and plus, how rich do you sound when you say "Oh, I can't babysit tomorrow, I'm taking off for my Second Home that day..." I mean, seriously.
And also, I've been working out a lot of the Concepts for The Novel Attempt, and a gradual idea for the plot of Steven the Boredom Slayer. Saddly, I've been neglecting work on Livid Love chapter 5. Aw well, I'll get around to it when I get around to it, I suppose.
And then Moony talked to me for the first time in, a while, which was shocking. Apparently it boiled down to my sad, but true hypocritcal-ness, and my selfishness, and all that stuff. And Nick says I should just run with it, but I don't get how to do that. I mean, since I"ve accepted the selfishness, and my inability to be selfless...then maybe I should give myself over to the idea of selfishness and not care about anything. Except I can't really pull that off, because I'm always worrying about some one, or something. My thoughts aren't always about me, although they've been centered on me a lot this week.
Oh, and Mary and I got into a fight about it, or something. Talked on the phone later. Giggles ensued. Eh.
Oh, and today was my first day back to school this week, and I ended up throwing Gonzollo to the floor in self defense and kicking his stomach. Which was fun, of course.
We're developing a deep contempt for each other, him and I.
Also, Raymond's back with The Group, and all seems at peace. And they all welcomed me back, and I got lottsa hugs from Mackenzie, who said it was "boring" without me, and everyone liked my new shirt, and I didn't have too much work...so all in all, pretty good day.
That's all for now.
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